Few are those lucky enough to have kids who are not either bullies or subject to bullying. And when you find out that your son or daughter is being bullied, your first instinct – which is wrong here – is to go to the bully’s parents (the source) to complain about their child’s behavior.
This doesn’t help often sense parents can get defensive about their children and might not deal with the issue effectively. So here is what to do when you know that your child is bullied at school.
1- Do not start a war as you hear your child’s story. Be calm and ask him to retell his part of the story to make sure there is no misunderstanding about it. There is a chance that the bullying your child was subjected to is a result of something he said or did.
2- Find out all the facts about the bullying. What is its nature, and how often does it happen. Write everything sensibly and leave emotions out of it. Try to find out if there are others being bullied by the same person or at least witnessed the bullying and write down their names.
3- DO NOT complain or talk about the matter over the phone. Contact the principal and schedule an appointment, to be able to talk about the matter in detail. You would not know if the one answering the phone is the principal, and they might hang up or claim he/she is not the principal.
4- Teach your child the defensive strategies that work with bullies. He can walk away, or act as uninterested or unaffected. He could even agree unenthusiastically with the bully to defuse the situation (fogging), or talk to the school guidance councilor.
5- Follow up and see if your child is still being bullied. If he/she is, you might need to look for higher authority figures, like the board of education. Contact them and file a complaint (Notice of Harassment).